Some school authorities have renewed their annual warning of fines for parents who take children on holiday during term time. PATSY CHAPMAN commissioned a ‘first person piece’ from a mother who, in her own words, objects. . .
WOT I WANNA NO IS (1) am I gettin payed for this an (2) is anywun else owt ther avin trubble wiv takin the kids outa school to see Mickie Mouse?
ITS DOIN MY ED IN. Wot a bluddy libertie them teechers av, shuvvin there noses wer the sun dont shine. There thretnin to fine me and Dane for our human rites to have free weeks in Florridur. Wat a lot of b***ox.
We aint hurtin nobody and they need to wind there necks in insted of ruining R dreem ov a lifetime.
My mate Shardnay who was named after a breed of wine (respeck!) send me a message sayin THEY DONT OWN YOUR KIDS, Hun. There a bunch of ****oles. Snot your folt you carnt aford Disny in the offishul ollidys. You take em and show em hoos boss.
Shard is rite. We aint made ov money like them snobs. An we need a new sofa an a puppy.
Anyway we wooden ave to take Cursty and Krispin in turm time if is wosnt for them greedy bastad travel asians. They charge more cos ov sply and command. LIKE WAT DOS THAT EVEN MEEN? We wunce told skool the kids had meesels wen we took em to Blackpool but they wontid proof. Cheeky bastads.
Its like wen Krispin ad is belly button ring dun an they sed it was danjerus but we told him jus to pull hiss david beckun pants higher up in futboll. Sins wen has studs and rings akshully bin a danjer? They be bannin face tatts nex. It aint got nuthin to do wiv lurnin. We cant wait for R olliday.
Corse the kids will be glad not to ave to ware there yoonifoms or learn abowt Florince Nightgown whoever she is wen shes at home. Ow does that elp you in sumfin like a road rage inssident? Thats the prob. Its nuffin to do with reel life this edyoocyashun.
But meetin the reel Mickie and Minny will give the kids sumfin to perspire to.
Disney is dearer then we thort cos Dane thort it was in France in Paris.
But then we had a rite result wen prisun ad to pay im for confiskatin is drone wen he was flyin his pakages in wen he was dooin time. It wos like winnin it larje on the scrach card.
The skool writ me a text, but on paper. It sed an I kwote ANY ABSENCE WILL DISRUPT YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING. YOU MAY CONSIDER A HOLIDAY IS EDUCATIONAL BUT THEY WILL FALL BEHIND WITH THE CURRICULUM (wot dus that even MEEN?). IT IS ALLOWED ONLY UNDER SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES AND HOLIDAY ABSENCE WILL RESULT IN A PENALTY OF £60 PER PARENT PER CHILD, WHICH INCREASES TO £120 IF NOT PAID WITHIN 21 DAYS.
Well me and Dane fink seein Mickie and Minny is VERY speshul sircumstanses. I will stamp on er head if she tries to take us to cort. They make it sound like R kids will end up fick or sumfin. But there proper adictid to Fortnite and Krispin can find porn sites quicker than us so thave deffanitly got more brains prolly than the teechers own kids.
I love my kids furver than the moon an back. We wont them to ave chanses like we dident.
Its only free weeks out ov there lifes. Anyway avin studs and rings and tatts an avin time of skool never dun me no arm diddit?
Nah, 2 fings. Jus keep me name outa this, dont want the soshul gettin on 2 me.