Even when it was revealed he had donated thousands of dollars to Hillary Clinton’s campaigns and invited Hillary and her husband, former president Bill Clinton, to his daughter’s wedding he was able to hoodwink the public into believing it was just ‘business as usual’ for an entrepreneur like him to curry favor with politicians of both major parties.
But now that the big secret has been revealed, joker Trump has another surprise for Republicans: he’s staying in the race to win it!
Trump is also expected to pick the gigantic New Jersey governor Chris Christie as his vice presidential running mate and, if elected, to designate him as attorney general, as well. “There’s enough of Chris to go around for both jobs,” Trump staffers say privately.
As expected, Republicans Ted Cruz and John Kasich alongside Democrats Clinton and Bernie Sanders, together with leaders of both parties, have denounced Trump’s duplicity, but, as in the past, their criticisms fell on deaf ears and brainless minds as Trump’s poll numbers rose in instant surveys run by the media.
It was further believed that, far from feuding with Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly (they publicly fall out big-time on an almost monthly basis), Trump and she are ‘very, very close’ following the end of his ‘intensely secret friendship’ with his former sparring partner, actress Rosie O’Donnell.
HEALTH, WEALTH AND STEALTH WARNING: This report was originally filed last Friday but was held back in case readers believed it to be an April Fool joke